Today He said I Love You

well i didnt say anything back right away because i was in shock

maybe because of the dead air he decided its smart to end the sentence with "as a friend".

i, finding safe ground, replied- i love you too as a friend

regretful he added "but i love you more than that"

to which i replied: thank you.

THANK YOU?! Yes. It was odd.

it was so odd.

he went on and showered me praises, how he thinks about me at work and how the very thought of me relaxes him. how crazy and different i am, and how crazy i make him feel in a good way. he loves how playful, and deep, and smart and feisty he discovered me to be, and how beautiful my heart is, and of course he said I had a beautiful face to go along with it.

i felt so very special hearing these things. its not because i dont usually get them but to hear it from someone you admire and feel the same way about is extremely special.

but I do love him, and I wish I could say it more freely. without judgment or awkwardness. I wish to say it without second thought, without doubts, without the need to explain or add "as a friend" to it.

I doodle hearts in my head, and practice saying my name with his last name attached, as if i was to be married to him. I wish things were simpler, and a lot less complicated.

I am now planning my signature.

jfvasquez

vs

jsflorendo

DORK.

I am deeply...

utterly...

most definitely...

In love.